I’m in the 3rd week of a 12 week course and I’m subjecting myself to something, at this point, I’m not so sure I’m ready for. Problem is, I’d never be ready for it. Brittany is in week 7 or 8 of this course as well.
The class is called Inner Healing and it is associated with No Longer Bound, the program that my cousin, Adam, has recently graduated from.
There are a ton of things to say about this class. And I probably won’t write much of anything about it. You’d have to be there. And I don’t really care to share.
It is incredibly emotional and honest. And I’m not used to that at all.
One of the goals is that by the end of the class I would be able to feel:
in real time. in a way that I currently do not. and more so than I ever have.
On our first night we discussed an idea that has kind of overwhelmed my thought process. The idea is this:
You always do what you believe.
Like, the drug addict uses drugs because he/she believes that the drug use is better than the alternative. They might say, “well, I believe that it would be better to face my pain than to use drugs and steal from my family.”
But that is a lie.
We always do what we believe.
And in that case, the addict believes that drug use/abuse is a better option than anything else.
No matter what my lips profess to “believe”, the truth is that I always do what I believe.
And as I begin to dive into my actions and evaluate my lack of reactions, I begin to discover what I actually believe about life/myself/God.
And the more honest I get, the more I see that what I say I believe is often times a lie to cover up what my life’s work has shown that I, indeed, actually do believe.
So here goes another 9 weeks or so for me.
And I’m not ready for it.