This is my first blog experience, so bare with me. It’s a little intimidating. I might run on a lot and I’m not going to pretend I’m even close to as good as my husband is with writing my thoughts. You see, I had to re-read that last sentence a few times and it still doesn’t make sense to me. In grad school I sat at a blank computer screen for hours trying to put together a 3-page paper and went crying to Jason many times in search for writing guidance. Oh well. I’m not a writer. And that is okay.
The last few weeks I have encountered the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy numerous times whether it was during a conversation with my mom, seeing the book laying around at houses while doing home health, or numerous comments on Facebook including “I can’t put Fifty Shades of Grey down” and “I barely slept last night because of Fifty Shades of Grey.” After reading about it on the Internet and discussing the topic with my husband and various friends, I decided to write about it.
For those of you who don’t know, Fifty Shades of Grey is a “New York Times #1 bestselling erotic fiction book and is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of BDSM,” according to Wikipedia. I left BDSM as a link in case some people don’t know what that is; I’m not going to explain it. Too much.
I told Jason the reason I was so interested in this subject was most likely because I was affected by lust a lot when I was growing up. I caught someone close to me, someone who I highly respected and once placed my opinions of that person on a pedestal, watching porn and I don’t think I realized how much it affected me until the last few years. (Side note: placing someone on a pedestal is a dangerous and potentially devastating thing, and the only one that can fulfill those high expectations is Jesus. But, that can be discussed in a different blog. Maybe, if I’m brave enough.) My guy friends in high school watched porn all the time (with me there at times) and it was always just accepted as what guys do, but I never felt comfortable with it. I’ve read trashy romance novels before and it definitely affected me emotionally. Lately I’ve heard about many marriages breaking up or being damaged due to cheating, lust, not being emotionally connected, or fill in the blank. Another and most important reason: I am very interested in protecting my heart and marriage and I believe that kind of content over a long period of time can ruin that. I think the “erotica fiction” creates an illusion of innocent entertainment for women, but in reality, is can be very damaging, similar to men watching porn. I think the idea of oodles of people reading these books stirred up a lot of stuff I needed to process and learn related to this subject.
Something I’ve been learning a lot lately is this:
Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
In other words, protect, take precaution, or watch over your heart because everything in life comes out of it. Everything you do in life flows from what is in your heart. If we fill our hearts with lust, porn, erotic novels, jealousy, pride, whatever it is that fills your heart, that is what will determine the course of our lives. Maybe those marriages would have survived if both partners protected their hearts a little more. Just a thought.
I’m not trying to condemn anyone for reading the books. And it’s not just about the books, obviously. But, I do hope we continue to ask ourselves this: Are we protecting our heart, our marriage, our future marriage, our emotional well-being, our friendship, and/or our life by doing/reading/allowing __________?
Let me know what you think about this 🙂 I would luuurve it.