I remember people asking me, “are you going to cry?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been the groom.”
Some things you missed if you didn’t go to our wedding:
1. Brittany looked better than you.
2. My uncle gave the best wedding message I’ve ever heard (I know I’m bias. I don’t care. It really was.)
3. We had the BEST wedding music ever! Brittany picked the songs the wedding party walked into and also the song she walked down to. And it was better than anything I could have come up with. Simply cementing that she was to be my wife.
4. I choked up in public (during the vows. never to happen again).
5. The BEST best man speech of all time. Seriously, Aaron owned that moment. I had a lot to live up to when I gave his.
6. Dance with my mom. Meant more to me than any of you could ever know.
7. My cousin Adam throwing two fist fulls of confetti at my face at approx. 92mph from about 3 ft away just before we got into the shag mobile…adrenaline couldn’t mask the pulsating pain.
Today is our 4 year anniversary. We have been “together” for just over 7 years…
and we still don’t hate each other.
More positively, we actually “like” each other more than we did on that day. And that isn’t because we got extremely lucky and chose the “right” person. We have worked at it. And our lives haven’t been a walk in the park.
I don’t pretend to have GREAT marriage advice. We’ve only been married for 4 years. But I do believe that I have a better marriage than most married couples. That isn’t a condescending statement on anyone else’s marriage, it is just a realization that most people don’t experience what Brittany and I do.
One of the greatest compliments I have ever received came during 18 holes at Dubsdread Golf Course. I was golfing with a friend of mine that I worked with at Hyatt. We were golfing and we ended up golfing with another guy who was by himself. He told us that he spent a lot of business time in Orlando away from his family and he LOVED his time away. At the time I had only been married a couple of years, so this guy (we’ll call him Brian so I don’t have to say “this guy” anymore) told me I obviously didn’t understand and wouldn’t for a few years. Brian said that he loved his wife and his kid, but he really loved getting away from them from time to time (2 months at a time) and that helped him appreciate and love them more when he got home. He told me that one day I would understand.
What did I know?
My friend Chris (doesn’t buy into the Jesus thing) then said something like this (before I said anything):
“I know what you mean man. But Jason and his wife (he worked with me and Brittany at Hyatt) are different. They genuinely are different than any couple that I know. They work together. They live together. And they really seem to like each other. It is totally different than anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t think they’ll want to be away from each other for months at a time. Even though I totally know what you mean.”
Chris had seen the best/worst of Jason/Brittany. And that was his conclusion. Brian didn’t buy it. But Chris did. And I hadn’t really ever had a “marriage” conversation about why Brittany and I’s worked so well with Chris.
It reminded me of something I heard once, “one of the greatest witnesses you could have to a world who doesn’t believe in Jesus is the state of your marriage.”
Brittany and I were a part of a small group in Orlando that went through a study on marriage. One of the things I stil remember from that study is something that Jesus said. If you don’t believe in the bible, this is still true:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As i (Jesus) have loved you, you must love one another.”
Jesus made “love” a verb as opposed to a noun. And as it relates to marriage the question still holds:
“How are you loving Brittany?”
Not “how do you ‘feel’ about Brittany?”…but what are you doing to show Brittany that you love her?
Even if you don’t buy into the whole Jesus thing, this is a great question. And for me it is a daily reminder…
How am I showing Brittany that I love her?
Four years in and we have a great marriage. We have seen more in 4 years than a lot of people see in 20. And we are trying the best we know how to make love a verb and not a noun (feeling).
Brittany is the best person that I know. It makes me try to be a better person. And she constantly reminds me that when I am not…she still will show me love.
Here’s to the next 4(40) years…